Wednesday, October 17, 2018

The other day I got a renewal notice from Go daddy about my domain name.
Honestly, I started to wonder if it was worth paying to keep my website name because it's been YEARS since I've written on here (are blogs even a thing anymore??)
 I love writing but I've always gone back and forth with how much to share on the www. Even more so after we had babies.
However, I've decided it's a much needed outlet for me & I really don't care who reads it (and who doesn't.) That sounds harsh, but I just mean I write as a type of therapy and it's okay with me if people aren't interested in what I have to say.

SOOOO much has changed since I last shared on here.
We've had another baby (who's now almost 2!)
Our sweet FOUR year old started pre-school.
We "quit" traditional ministry.
We moved to the Mountains.
We built an incredible home.
We got pregnant with our 3rd sweet baby & had to say goodbye too soon.
The Lord has met me in a place of grief. He's revealed a sense of joy within sorrow that I have never experienced before. 
I've started counseling again.
We both turned the b i g 3 0
We've made new friends, reunited with old, and kept in touch with the true.


In time, I want to write specifically about each of these things.
I'm in a place where I am trying to (unapologetically) be ME.
I want to love the things that I love, grieve the way that I grieve.
I want to parent the way Nathan & I think is best without feeling bad about it and constantly questioning every thought & decision.
I say trying, because honestly, I'm insecure and always wondering if how I think, react, grieve, hope, hurt, feel- is wrong. This has been a life long battle, and I'm not ashamed to say, something I hashed out with a counselor for quite a bit of time in my 20's.
But writing helps me process and it's my hope it can be an outlet for me once again.
With Love,
Jess

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