Tuesday, July 22, 2014

SO What Wednesday

It's Been FOREVER since I have done one of these.. but they're my favvvvvv. 

So What if:

I'm 39.5 weeks & still pregnant.. AND am irrational and absolutely convinced this child is staying in there forever.

I'm highly emotional and cry at e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. because #pregnancy

I finally gave into my donut craving and have had them almost every day. 

We also drove 30 miles out of our way just to get said Krispy Kreme donuts

I also ate 8 of the 12 by myself. 

I've washed the boppy cover 4x because it keeps getting put in places I think aren't clean. 

I also realized how stupid this was because it's going in our car, the hospital.. etc etc. 

I didn't think it through and had my last appointment on a Tuesday only to realize this appointment will be on a Friday! It's just so long to wait in between at this stage...

I changed my mind after yesterday's post and decided today I AM in fact ready for this little girl to make her appearance. These Braxton hicks are getting super annoying & with each one I find myself wishing they were painful contractions. 

Nothing helps with heartburn these days, I'll just start eating icecream for every meal. Specifically the cotton candy ice cream from Target that I found. That's right folks, go get yours today. (Not a paid advertisement, just a girl who loves cotton candy flavored anything ;)) 

Our new fridge wasn't able to be delivered until we will most likely be in the hospital.. At least we'll come home to a new fridge. Mom, could you be here to take care of that? ;)

We went to Target to try and walk this baby out and instead came home with stuff we didn't need. Shopping is my therapy. 

I'm seriously considering calling my Dr. to see if she has any earlier appointments this week. 

I'm super duper proud of myself for writing THREE blog posts this week. I honestly think it's been over a .. You're welcome. 

Happy Wednesday Friends! 😘 

39 Week 'bumpdate'

 39 Weeks!
HUGE difference in 9 weeks! 

Weight: 37 lbs. and I've topped out. I didn't gain anything two appointments ago & last week I lost a pound, which is really normal at this stage of pregnancy. However, I decided to eat ALL the donuts I wanted this past week so we'll see what the scale says at my dr appt ;)

Symptoms: all.the.symptoms. Let's see.. Heartburn (thank you for waking me up at 1 am and again at 3 am last night!), Braxton hicks..which are weird.. those started happening not too long after my last appointment..they start out almost like my belly goes up into my lungs and I have to catch my breath but not because they hurt. More.. back cramps, menstrual like cramps, sometimes headaches, constipation (sorry), nausea every once in a while if I don't eat for a few hours, fatigue, shortness of breath, so emotional (thanks so much hormones), hot flashes. Oh, and I am hungry all the time!

Clothes: all the maternity clothes. and only the bigger ones.. because I be showing belly if I try to squeeze into earlier trimester clothes. 

Sleep: hahahahaha! Between waking up every 1.5 hours to go to the bathroom, heartburn, pregnancy insomnia, sleep is pretty non-existent this days. So I just lay and stare at Nathan.. hating that he is snoring next to me.. 

Cravings/Aversions: Hey guys, I LOVE donuts. And after being really careful with not over indulging myself, I just went ahead and said oh what the hay.. I don't think I can count how many I've had in the past week. I'll give them up when baby comes. maybe. I also love smoothies, we have probably 2 a day.. and I have rekindled my love with Rita's Ice.. so there's that. I can finally eat lots these days and be extremely hungry again within an hour or two!

Baby- Little one is good! Her heart rate is always about 140-150 and she is usually pretty happy at appointments. She is getting rather large and I feel her everywhere.. I'm going to go ahead and guess she'll be .. 8 + pounds.. but hey, I'm not a Dr. 

Dr Appointment: Been the same with blood pressure.. it's still about 130-135/80 when I go in.. and then as soon as I lie down, it goes right back down to about 118/75 ish.. I don't have any protein in my urine, swelling, and after getting labs done to be safe, everything looks perfectly normal. My Dr. calls my high blood pressure "artificial" so she's keeping an eye on me.. but since it always goes down & since we monitor it at home (Dr. Nathan, y'all) and it's perfectly normal (except after that one trip to Costco but who can blame me) she's not too concerned. Alright so UPDATE on appointments. Yes, she started 'checking' me 3 weeks ago. The first one.. pretty much nothing. Second, a WHOLE centimeter and she was really low and Dr could feel her head! Third, TWO centimeters, 50% effaced and something about my water bulging..oh and she was pretty low and Dr could still feel the head... And TMI so STOP reading if you don't wanna hear it but I really want to remember this stuff! After my 2nd appointment I lost my..plug. Been 2 weeks tho.. so that clearly meant nothing. At my 37 week appointment  she stripped my membranes without me even knowing she was going to.. which irritated me because I didn't want her to until at least 38 weeks.. but I am OK now because baby girl stayed in. She did the same last week and I am assuming she will again if I make it to my appointment this Friday. Where I will be 39 weeks 5 days!! These appointments get my hopes up... then nothing happens. . 

Movement: Pretty much consistent with what she has been doing all along. Has her little patterns and awake times. Still is pretty active around 7ish and when I wake up in the morning from insomnia around 5am or 6am.. She moves a little different now that she is taking up so much room.. just less strong as I don't think she is able to really KICK me hard anymore but she rolls around and switches sides.. She moves her little feet a lot and rolls them across my belly. Her bum is straight up by my lungs and if I push on her she'll usually let me know she doesn't appreciate that ;)

How I am feeling: For real, I am feeling pretty good. Yes, I have all the annoying symptoms but I really am OK. I was always feeling like she would come late so I was OK with that until a couple weeks ago people started commenting that I look "done" or "wow I bet you want that baby out" "or don't lie, I know you just have to be miserable.." so for about a week.. I decided they were right. And I was on.. "operation, let's get this baby out"... but now.. I am just fine with her waiting. Even if it were for 2 more weeks.. I LOVE having her safe and happy in my tummy. I love feeling her move around and I love that I get more time with Nathan. There's no going back after this folks and I am fine with her being in there as long as she is OK. Yes, I want to see her. Sometimes the feeling is so overwhelming I cry because I want to see her sweet little face and snuggle her all the time. But right now, I still get to carry her and bond with her while she rolls around in my tummy and I am perfectly content with that. So no, I am not "done" yet. I feel joy with it and honestly still cannot believe she has been in there for 39 weeks! I've had a burst of energy this past week so I'm really liking that! 

How daddy's feeling: "I feel like a little kid waiting for christmas morning… I want to meet my little one."

Random: A LOT has gone on since my last update! I had another shower that my mama and sister through for me and it was perfect! I am SO thankful for everyone's generosity and love towards us and our little girl! I'm completely packed and so is baby girls stuff for the hospital. I have everything for baby girl done and we have even set up her co-spleeper. We chose this one if you're interested (more on that another time.) My Spotify play list, an ipod player and of course the camera are chillin' out next to my bag. Since I have had the urge to nest, all of her cloth diapers are washed, stuffed and ready to go! They're so darn cute I can't wait to put her in them! (more on that later too!) Her nursery has been ready for some time now and everything has been washed, prepped, put away etc. Every thing has been set up, ie, her bouncer, stroller, sheets on bed, clothes put away and all washed, headbands in their place, closet organized, etc ..and has been for a while. Her car seat is in the car and ready along with a mirror so we can see her! We actually took the car seat to the fire dept just to make sure we were installing it correctly. He had some great tips and there were a couple of things I didn't even know you could do to get a car seat in! I guess stuff I would just consider 'against the rules' but it turns out the highway safety or something recommends and allows certain things. I printed out our 'Birth wishes' and they are in my bag.. yes, I am THAT person but I have done a LOT of research to prepare and I just don't want decisions to be made for us without me knowing anything. Yes, I am OK with things changing and I know you cannot have everything you want usually, but I trust in a BIG God and I know He has everything handled with the birth. They are things we have been specifically praying about since finding out about our daughter and we know God is in control and will be with us every second. 

Other Stuff:  So.. I won't go swimming because I have an irrational fear that my water will break while I'm in there and I won't know it..  so there's that. I have also been squeezing in every single minute I can alone with my husband. We pretty much don't do anything except hang out together and eat. A lot. of donuts. We've been having random breakfast and lunch dates and trips to Lowes for stuff like a new fridge. We've been walking a lot to help move the baby down and most nights we're sitting on the couch playing Lego Indiana Jones on the Wii together! I'm seriously loving every minute of it!

Last thing: Would love all of your prayers as we enter into a part of our lives we know nothing could possibly prepare us for! We just ask that you would be praying for our family of three, that the Lord would be guiding us and teaching us to be the best parents possible for our girl. For the birth and after, nursing & just settling into our lives together. Thank you so so much and we can't wait to share the big news with you! 

Check out my other Pregnancy related posts!
Becoming Parents
I'm Pregnant and I'm Beautiful 
34 Week 'Bumpdate'
30 Week 'Bumpdate'
27&28 Week 'Bumpdate'
25 week 'Bumpdate'
24 Week 'Bumpdate'
22 & 23 Week 'Bumpdate'
21 Week 'Bumpdate'
19 & 20 Week 'Bumpdate'
17 & 18 Week 'Bumpdate'
16 Week 'Bumpdate' 
14 & 15 Week 'Bumpdate' 
13 Week 'Bumpdate'
0-12 Weeks 'Bumpdate'
Pregnancy Announcement
If you want to see more of the bump, let's be friends on Instagram!

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

I'm pregnant & I'm beautiful.

In the early months of pregnancy when I started getting a bump, I thought it was sooooo cute. I loved watching it grow bigger and bigger & was amazed that my body was able to hold a little person. 

As time went on, I got more uncomfortable in my skin and began to think I was looking a lot more chubby and a lot less cute. Stretch marks started developing (literally everywhere except my belly and it bothered me. (Don't worry, belly ones came later;)) 

When I got to about 37- 38 weeks I realized what I had been doing. I had a hard time with the weight gain & it started making me not like being pregnant. I was ready to lose the weight, ready to have my baby girl, and ready to have my body back to normal. I think it should also be said that I watched other friends struggle with this and always thought to myself " I would never struggle with that if were pregnant. Pregnancy is so gorgeous, why would they think they look fat?"  I was sorely mistaken. 

Like I said it wasn't until about 38 weeks along that I started to see myself differently. I noticed I started to be sad that I wouldn't be pregnant anymore. I saw other pregnant woman who were beautiful! Woman who had gained almost 70 pounds and looked absolutely stunning.  This particular girl I had found via Instagram and started catching up on her bump dates on her blog. And wouldn't you know it, she also thought she didn't look so pretty.

It's funny how I could look at her & think how absolutely beautiful she looked but then look at myself and think the opposite. It's when I saw this blog that I changed my view. She too thought she had gained too much weight & was struggling with how she looked. 

As I looked at her pictures, I realized how hard I had been on myself. How truly beautiful it was that I was growing a little baby girl & how I might never get this experience again. I started seeing myself differently. Even though I only had 2 weeks left, I wanted to get dressed and go out and show off my bump. I started to truly believe my husband when he would say "you look so beautiful" or "how sexy my baby bump made me look." I started to say thank you & let it make me joyful when someone would compliment me. I posted this photo in Instagram and shared my feelings. And I truly appreciate everyone of your sweet words that were completely unexpected, but I believed you for once! 

Pregnancy is so so beatiful and such a privilege. I don't even think I realized how blessed I was. So I don't care anymore if people call me "huge" (although a post is coming on those little comments later ;)) I'm honestly just in awe of how beautiful this big ole round belly is. How unfair of me to ever think anything different when The Lord granted me a womb that could conceive a child. The body that The Lord gave me has carried a child, Our child, His child and He created me to hold her little body and nourish her and keep her safe. He gave me a body that would be her home for 9 months. He grew it and shaped it and made it the perfect place for our little baby to grow. And so, I love it. 
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