What are dreams anyways? Where do these desires we have come from? Why are some dreams so much more desirable to one person and not another? I am mostly asking a rhetorical question, at least for me. I know God has put dreams in me. Dreams to love Him and love people. Dreams to change the world for Him and see lives changed so that He can be glorified. The dream to one day be with Him in Heaven. Then the specific dreams that He gives each of us from small to great. Some of the little ones for me are baking my heart out, singing, (which I bet could be big dream for others) and building a home. Some great ones, ones I see far, far away, are becoming a wedding planner or owning a bakery and maybe even getting the chance to counsel women in their lives and marriages. And even some now, that He is already allowing me to live out. Things like being a wife, serving in youth ministry and being a part of a church that really is my family, and owning a home. The little desires that God places in my heart, the things He causes me to love and enjoy, are so important to me since I am trying to figure out what dreams He specifically has for me.
Since I am still praying about what that looks like, I think I'll share in detail a dream I saw Him unfold in my life already.Keep in mind this is a little bit of a long story.. I haven't quite figured out how to narrow it down just yet. :)
I was 18 and it had been a year since I had graduated High School. I had my share of relationships in high school and some in the short year I had been out. One serious relationship that I am still thankful God brought me out of. I had been let down so many times and treated poorly. I had no idea what real love looked like or how I would ever find it. Here's how it all started: A good friend of mine and I decided to go to Scottsdale Bible for college group earlier on that year. We had decided to go to camp with them and as God would have it, it happened to be in Payson, AZ, our old stompin' grounds. Yes, that was necessary to say...if you were from Payson, you would understand. ;)
We were on our way there and it made me think back to a friend of mine that I had known since 6th grade. He was one of those guys that everyone liked. He kept to himself for the most part but was a cute boy that loved Jesus and didn't care who knew it. I even remember I used to wonder what it would be like to marry someone like him while sitting in class one day. I pretty much did what I wanted back then, with little concern for what God wanted for me, but this boy had something I desired.
A genuine love for the Lord.
Anywho, this boy used to work at said camp and I decided I would call him and see how he was and since he didn't answer I just left some lame message. The cool thing about the way God works is like I said in my previous post, God prepared us for one another knowing the end, knowing we would end up together. At the time I called him he was praying about God's will for his life concerning a wife. He too had been hurt and was once and for all making sure God was the one who would lead him to whoever He wanted for him.. And then I called. I didn't have to go to camp that weekend. It didn't have to be the camp that he used to work at and the one I would remember him by. And God certainly didn't have to be laying on his heart at that exact moment to be praying for the wife God had for him.
Since I don't believe on coincidences, I know this was all just part of God's plan for us.
He eventually called me back and we decided to date. We went on our first date with my whole family. Ha, that's a funny story, maybe I will blog about it some other time. I wish I could say the rest was history and everything was perfect from then on out, but that would be a lie. I still wasn't at the place I should have been to deserve a guy like him. We ended up breaking up because, to be honest, I was a spoiled brat that still wanted to do what I wanted and not what God wanted. Shortly after that, I realized how stupid I was and I thought he had moved on. So I did what I knew was the only thing left for me to do. Run to God. I prayed constantly and studied His word. I still have pages and pages of notes from verses I was dissecting and praying about.
For the first time I stopped messing around and sincerely devoted my life to following after Jesus.
Don't worry this story has a happy ending. :) Who would later be my husband, Nathan, had not moved on. He still loved me and cared for me as he did before. I didn't really understand why he still wanted me after everything I had done to him. How great a picture of Christ's love for me that my husband displayed to me then and still now. How amazing that God used him to reveal something so precious like that to me. I finally knew what true love looked like.
We got married in April of 2009. Never had I experienced the presence and peace of God like I had on our wedding day. I will never forget how blessed we were and how excited we were to start our new lives. I love him more today then I ever could have on our wedding day. I am so thankful for God's dream for me to marry a man that sincerely loves the Lord and serves Him with his whole heart. I am so thankful that God is faithful and saw His plan through to the end. Thank you God for not giving up on me and allowing me to be the wife to the husband You longed for me to have.