Thursday, November 13, 2014

10 signs you're a new mama

Your baby is 4 months old and anyone who comes near her must have clean hands. If they want to hold the baby, you must actually see the hand washing take place. You don't anticipate this not being required until they're about a year old. 

You never put your baby down. After all, you only have one, why put her down when she is much better soothed in your arms. 

You & your husband are able to stare at, talk to & make all sorts of sounds at your baby for at least an hour without getting bored. You have no place to be and no toddler telling you they "poo pooed in their pants." 

Trips to the store are fairly easy considering you only have one in tow. I should know, I nannied multiples. That stuff is hard! 

Your iPhone is always giving you the "memory is full, please check your settings" message when attempting the a fourtheenth video to get that laugh recorded. 

When your baby reaches a milestone, You tweet, facebook, and Instragram the cuse out of it. 

You've called your pediatricians office more times than you would care to admit & about things you would really not care to admit. 

You're texting your sister, mom, aunt, BFFL, and anyone else who will respond promptly, an unheard of amount of times a minute. Sending info about your baby's poop, asking questions like "she keeps farting in her sleep, is that normal??" & maybe just a success story about how your baby just fell asleep in the car ON HER OWN. *fist pump! 

Your husband has banned you from google because you always come to the conclusion that your child must have Ebola & that's why she spit up last night. 

You're still really careful about nursing in public and take drastic measures to make sure your baby doesn't kick that cover off because you don't need the whole world seeing that. I've heard it gets easier with more & many are willing to just "whip it out" when they're little love is hungry. 

New mamas, anything you might add?! 

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