Thursday, May 9, 2013

My heart, it's wicked.

 
 I was scrolling through Facebook this morning, naturally.
When I came across a friend's post..
She said,
"I really wish I was as spiritual on the inside as I might appear on the outside."
 
Um, what? 
You can openly admit that? 
You mean, you're not perfect and you're OK sharing that with others?

Confession time:
If I don't "feel" perfect, connected, and spiritually right with God, that is not how I respond. 
I respond in fear, thinking something must be wrong with me. 
I shouldn't be struggling with this. 
I shouldn't be thinking about that.
I shouldn't feel far from God and I should definitely be perfect as far as my heart being right with God. 

Her honesty this morning brought me to a place of "duh" this morning.

I replayed this verse over and over in my head:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Why?
Because I realized, my heart isn't good. What's going on on the inside, isn't always what it appears to be on the outside. 
Because I am wicked. My heart is desperately sick. 
This is true about me. 
But sometimes, I get stuck there. 
I think I am too far. 
too far from good.
too far from grace.
too far from GOD. 

So when my friend shared her heart this morning, God showed me something about myself. 
That I don't have it all together. 
But also that it's OK.
In fact, it's better than OK. Because it means I need Him. 
It means I can't pick up the pieces on my own.
I can't figure out life or make myself good. 
He has to do that for me. 
So I rest on this truth, also shared by my sweet friend:
HE see's the depths of my heart {my wicked, desperately sick, heart} and HE loves me the same. 
 the same.

That God, being perfect, loves my imperfect heart. He knows my faults, what I really look like on the inside, and yet, He still chose to love me and call me His own.  
 He calls me to a relationship with Him every day. 
Speaking truth and love into my heart. 
Changing me in a way that ONLY the Lord can. 
He has done GREAT things & He has done this in me: 
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 
 
Every day, He is molding me, shaping me, teaching me. 
He is changing me. 
& He isn't at all close to being finished..
 I am sure of this, He who began a good work in you (me!) will continue it on to completion until the day (my) Jesus returns. (Phil 1:6) 
 




How so very thankful for this.
 For His love.
For His patience.
For His hope that He is making me new.


Thank you Beth for your honest, sincere heart. I am thankful for the way you display Christ every single day.

9 comments:

  1. Oh gosh I love this post. Thank you so much for posting this!

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  2. I can say i feel so much better after reading this, thank you Jess!!

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  3. Thanks for sharing this Jess. SO needed to hear this truth today.

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  4. This is an awesome post, Jess. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and Him. I needed it!

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  5. love your honesty as always. You push me to be BETTER !

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  6. I love this post! & your honesty!

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  7. Thank you for posting this. This is what I needed to hear today!

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