Thursday, May 9, 2013

My heart, it's wicked.

 I was scrolling through Facebook this morning, naturally.
When I came across a friend's post..
She said,
"I really wish I was as spiritual on the inside as I might appear on the outside."
Um, what? 
You can openly admit that? 
You mean, you're not perfect and you're OK sharing that with others?

Confession time:
If I don't "feel" perfect, connected, and spiritually right with God, that is not how I respond. 
I respond in fear, thinking something must be wrong with me. 
I shouldn't be struggling with this. 
I shouldn't be thinking about that.
I shouldn't feel far from God and I should definitely be perfect as far as my heart being right with God. 

Her honesty this morning brought me to a place of "duh" this morning.

I replayed this verse over and over in my head:
"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

Because I realized, my heart isn't good. What's going on on the inside, isn't always what it appears to be on the outside. 
Because I am wicked. My heart is desperately sick. 
This is true about me. 
But sometimes, I get stuck there. 
I think I am too far. 
too far from good.
too far from grace.
too far from GOD. 

So when my friend shared her heart this morning, God showed me something about myself. 
That I don't have it all together. 
But also that it's OK.
In fact, it's better than OK. Because it means I need Him. 
It means I can't pick up the pieces on my own.
I can't figure out life or make myself good. 
He has to do that for me. 
So I rest on this truth, also shared by my sweet friend:
HE see's the depths of my heart {my wicked, desperately sick, heart} and HE loves me the same. 
 the same.

That God, being perfect, loves my imperfect heart. He knows my faults, what I really look like on the inside, and yet, He still chose to love me and call me His own.  
 He calls me to a relationship with Him every day. 
Speaking truth and love into my heart. 
Changing me in a way that ONLY the Lord can. 
He has done GREAT things & He has done this in me: 
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 
Every day, He is molding me, shaping me, teaching me. 
He is changing me. 
& He isn't at all close to being finished..
 I am sure of this, He who began a good work in you (me!) will continue it on to completion until the day (my) Jesus returns. (Phil 1:6) 

How so very thankful for this.
 For His love.
For His patience.
For His hope that He is making me new.

Thank you Beth for your honest, sincere heart. I am thankful for the way you display Christ every single day.


  1. Oh gosh I love this post. Thank you so much for posting this!

  2. I can say i feel so much better after reading this, thank you Jess!!

  3. Thanks for sharing this Jess. SO needed to hear this truth today.

  4. This is an awesome post, Jess. Thanks so much for sharing your heart and Him. I needed it!

  5. I love you, and you are good. :)

  6. love your honesty as always. You push me to be BETTER !

  7. Love this post. LOVE THIS. needed this!

  8. Thank you for posting this. This is what I needed to hear today!


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