Thursday, May 30, 2013

the LORD looks at the heart

Ello Lovies!
Am I only one who goes around trying to speak in a British accent?
Oh, I am? hmm.

Anyways I was thinking.. about talking about something.. that I feel may get a response that isn't nice. But I am going to write it anyways, because it's been on my heart a lot.
Us girls. We have Bums.
and boobs.
and bellies. 

We all have em.
But I get sad when I see them and they don't belong to me. mmm k?
Let me explain.

We were at a hotel this past weekend and I actually felt bad for a lot of the dads, husbands, single guys, etc, hanging out around the pool with their families and friends. 

You girls, the ones I saw at the pool, the ones I see at the beach, my students, my friends, you are all incredibly beautiful. I don't care what color hair you have, what type of clothes you wear, if you have little feet or a large nose, blue eyes or brown, dark skin or white ghost skin like me.. You ARE GORGEOUS. 
However, we don't need to wear revealing clothing to let others know that. 
I'm specifically speaking of bathing suits but obviously this goes beyond that.
A while back I was reading a post on The Natos. LOVE her. 
She had a lot of wisdom on this subject. Even started a cute little trend.. #turtlenecktuesday. Instagram it. 
The number one thing that stuck out to me about her concern with this was her desire to reveal it's not about the clothes you wear.. God isn't interested in that. What He IS interested in, is your heart, dear friends. 
You matter to Him in a way you will never matter to someone else. He wants the absolute best for you. He isn't interested in setting rules or making you feel like a weirdo for choosing what's right.
That is NOT why He asks certain things of us.
 Typing this makes a lump form in my throat. Because I know that all He wants is to protect you. 
To pour out His unfailing love on you. 
& like it or not, He knows best. (You know how our parents always said, I know best because I'm the parent.) 
Ya, that.
When it comes to God, that is 100%, undoubtedly true. 
Now let me get real with you. 
Do I 100% of the time dress in a way that I believe the Lord would want me to? Is my heart in the right place every time I buy a new shirt? Do I care more about looking "pretty" to others than I what God thinks when He looks at me? 
Listen, I am not perfect. 
In high school, I remember walking onto campus, the first day of my freshman year, with my new found.. boobs.. and a low cut shirt. I thought I was so sexy. 
Although I didn't follow Christ then, I claimed to. 
I wonder now what people thought of me. Especially considering my claim to know God.
Really none of that matters, I am only telling you to illustrate a point. I fall short in this area too. My heart is not always in the right place with this. But I do have a deep desire to minister to woman in this area. 
Because I know what it's like to be liked for my body. 
I know what kind of attention I get when I wear revealing clothing.
I know what guys are thinking when I wear things I shouldn't. 
So I stopped. 
I became very cautious of this and thus, the bikinis were to be no more. 
Confession: I just bought one last year. 
We were on Vacation and I was with my husband. I thought, "oh he's going to love this cute little bathing suit I found." 
I even scored it for next to nothing.
I bought it but the whole time I was thinking I probably shouldn't..but...
in my head I'm thinking, I had spent all summer getting fit so why shouldn't I be able to look good in a bikini? This is how I allowed it to become acceptable. After all, I was with my husband, so it was perfectly fine. Right?
Although I don't wear it anymore, it got me thinking about why I bought it in the first place, thus the confession on me not being perfect.

  Here's the thing. 
I know a lot of girls might not believe me when I say this.. and that's fine, my students look at my crazy too, like I looked at my mentor when she told me the same thing.
Not only do we not need to receive attention in this way (because God looks at our heart, not our appearance) but we need to consider that we are causing husbands, dads, brothers, sons and friends to stumble in a way that they are sincerely trying not to.
I don't know about you, but I personally feel bad for them. Yes, they are more visual than us. Yes, this is a big struggle in men's lives. That is why we need to be concerned with honoring them with the way we dress.
I realize that you might have never even thought of this.
I get that because I never did either. I just knew it was a way to get attention and guys thought I was "pretty" so why not? 
You look good? AWESOME. show it off to your husband. 
Don't have one? Pray about the day you get to make some guy very happy and then save your beautiful body for him.
But please, please, prayerfully consider how you dress around men or anyone for that matter. Because even if the men you are dressing that way around aren't married, chances are someday they will be, and my question would be, how would you feel if you're husband was around that all the time? 
 I wish I would have considered that a long time ago.
Here's what I imagine some are thinking, because I would be to. 
"Why are you telling me to watch what I wear? Shouldn't men be able to contain themselves? I shouldn't have to worry about whether or not they're looking at me and if they can't control themselves, then that's their problem, not mine." 
Well then, I would say read this:
"Let’s try and put ourselves in a guy’s shoes. I think we can all agree that as girls, exercise is important to us. We want to stay healthy and are often working on getting fit. We work out and stay away from carbs or sweets. We use all of our willpower to not eat the chocolate cake on the counter! Now, let’s pretend that someone picked up that chocolate cake and followed us around all the time, 24/7. We can never get away from the chocolate, it’s always right there, tempting us and even smelling all ooey gooey and chocolate-y. Most of us, myself included, would find it easy to break down and eat the cake. And we would probably continue to break down and eat cake, because it would always be there. Our exercise goals would be long gone in no time."-Source

Ladies, it is not our concern to think about what the guys responsibility is. It is our concern to consider our hearts in the matter and ask God what He would like to see happen in our lives.
First, can I just say I love you? 
Secondly, It is my sincere hope that anything I said, you would take to the Lord in prayer. If you ever read anything on my blog and think you might disagree, please, feel free to kindly email me. But first, I would urge you to pray about it. If you still feel I am wrong, let's talk. I would love nothing more than a good talk with a friend with our goals being the same, and that's to honor God in all we do. 
Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. Romans 14:13
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. 1 Sam 16:7

1 comment:

  1. Love this girl!! I feel the exact same way and it is a passion in my heart as well!

    I can't even believe some bathing suits especially the one's for babies. It's pretty sad when I have a hard time finding a modest bathing suit for my 6 month old!


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