Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Our Family- Short update. + I'm back. +New blog.

It feels good to be typing again. I've been "gone" for so long, I feel like I have so much to say.
Motherhood has ROCKED my world. Nothing quite like adjusting to becoming a mommy for the first time. So many, "am I doing this right?" questions & figuring out who you are in the process.
Elle is the cutest, sweetest, most squishest babe.
  Two days ago, she turned ONE. 
My tiny, 7 pound baby is now a ONE YEAR old. She's not even considered a baby anymore. 
I do not know how to handle this news. I am avoiding dealing. 
How can this be? I can't even believe I am typing that. I remember when we first found out we were going to have a baby. How at the end of my pregnancy, time seemed to drag on. And how the first few months of her life I was doing everything I could to just survive. 
Now, she's just a part of me. She goes everywhere with me & loves her momma fiercely. Weird/Cool how you just adapt. How you just become a mom. How it is so much of who you are. 
Nathan says I like the "fun things" of being a mommy. Basically everything that includes Elle and nothing that includes housework. I'm not sure I see a problem with that. He might disagree. What does he know? ;)
Our marriage has changed a lot. I get that question a lot too. Yes, yes things change. But they aren't all bad. Adjusting to a baby after almost 6 years of only being married was no easy feat. We're officially a year into this and things are just starting to become normal. We have fallen into somewhat of a routine although neither of us are the routine type, so I use that term lightly. 
We've done a lot of growing & changing & figuring out how to adjust. and thats OK. and that's GOOD. 
I would be lying if I said there weren't a couple occasions I texted a dear friend stating "everything is falling apart." But they never did. And things worked out like they always do. 
After trusting God for a baby and working out with Him that this was HIS plan, you can imagine my surprise when things weren't always perfect. I thought I had some right or something. Some right to say Hey, Lord, um you asked me to give up control here so.. um.. yeah. Why is this still hard? Why am I experiencing fear so intensely again? Isn't this what you wanted? And I know it was. So why this? Why is it hard?
It's been months & months of learning I need to trust God. All over again. It's been hard & often times I have felt so alone trying to figure this out. The one thing I have always let creep in.. that I am alone in all of this. That there is no one that experiences the same things I do. (which I know is a lie.. hello, 1 Corinthians 10:13) but it gets easier with easy passing day. With each truth I declare to believe. 
New favorite verse? God is within her, she will not fail. Psalm 46:5
Camp has come and gone this year and it was real special. The best we have experienced yet. We have an amazing set of leaders right now. They truly are our "dream team." I've seen them get to change lives and that's been the coolest. 
Our young adults group is getting to the good stuff and we're all agreeing the current study is just what we were all needing. We seem to grow every week & I love the time we get with each other.
Been busy making new friends & loving on friends in need. That is my heartbeat. 
We've experienced some hard news with family and also have seen God do great things.
We've been learning lots about community and praying hard for our friends. 
We took family pictures recently that I can't wait to share soon. 
We've been dreaming of the future and praying about BIG things.
We leave for vacation in 42 days. 
I have mastered the "mom bun." it's super easy you guys.. just don't wash your hair for 5 days and spray a ton of dry shampoo in. Simple. 

Hope you love the new blog, I do. 

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